It’s Sunday, I woke in tears this morning. The one I love is one who comes from a country with a significant drinking culture. There is a strong compulsion to push the limits with binging on alcohol in the bid to ‘have fun’. My heart is heavy because I do indeed care a lot about him and his liver! I am up on these nights, worried sick, so upset with actual palpitations when he has these sort of heavy drinking nights. Today is 2 nights in a row…He is NOT irresponsible. Far from it.
The thing is at his age, I find it quite difficult to process how there is no aim to find the desire to focus on the more important things we both value. But he will see…
I make myself a cup of tea and listen to gospel music as it lifts my spirits up. I am still upset. But Why? I kiss my teeth. Fuck it!
I open my diary and there is a reminder for me today, to reflect on the goals I set myself on the last day of December 2014.
***10 things I aim to achieve in 2015
1. Buy my flat (accomplished)
2. Learn a foreign language (unaccomplished)
3. Build my spirituality levels to become a better person with aim to continue Kabballah classes, read the bible more for spiritual motivation and show kindness to someone each day (accomplished)
4. Develop my Volunteer options and give more to the world (accomplished)
5. Arrange a wider family re- union (half- accomplished)
6. Publish another book of collections (unaccomplished)
7. Start a blog (this one) and include travel experiences (well,accomplished)
8. Travel to South Africa, Cambodia or India – main long haul trip (unaccomplished)
9. Increase my reads on a range of different genres. At least 12 books this year (accomplished)
10. Open my heart to love and to find love